A Dad’s Media Habitat Shift

Jan 042011

On August 25, 2006, my life changed forever. That was the day I was transformed from a young, ignorant, married man expecting his first child into a young, ignorant, married man with a beautiful baby daughter. My entire existence had just shifted, but I had no idea how much. At this moment, I am the proud father of a four year old, a one year old, and a third child due in just over a month, and I cannot imagine my life any other way. As I make this, my maiden voyage into the GRTM community, I would like to pause to reflect on the blessed and weighty fact that as I gather ‘round the mic, I do so as a father of young children.

Having kids impacts how I experience the world. Irrational fears invade my consciousness. My long-held suspicion that I’m always being watching is confirmed when my son mimics my grotesque outdoor spitting habit. I am exposed to toxic infant fecal matter, a glut of Happy Meal toys, and Dora the Explorer. My perspective on the act of creation is forever altered when I see the spitting image of myself or my wife in my child’s eyes.

For our purposes, I’d like to focus on how being a father has altered my film viewing and music listening habits.

Theater exile

A few months ago, my wife and I got a sitter so we could see Inception in the theater, but aside from that, the theater has become for me a place of kid-friendly fare only. WALL-E, The Princess and the Frog, Ponyo, and Where the Wild Things Are were the only films I’d seen in the theater during a particular stretch. But allow me to let you in on a secret: all those movies are really good. Some of them are amazing. My kids love them. I love them. Win-win.

Studio loyalty

My kids have informed my media choices, and because of this, I have discovered this profound truth: films from Pixar and Studio Ghibli are some of the best made today. Hiyao Miyazaki is one of my all-time favorite directors. Toy Story 3 makes me cry every time. One doesn’t have to have children to experience these things, but I did.

Melodies and hooks

I love discovering new music. As I accumulate more music, and as it becomes cheaper and easier to access (I’m looking at you, Amazon mp3), I’ve discovered that there are more directions than ever I could go with my music choices. I’m a fan of artists described as punk, post-punk, alt, alt-country, rock, post-rock, Americana, folk, neo-folk, metal, blues, soul, pop, jazz, indie, post-indie, etc. Much of my music listening happens in the car, and much of my car time includes the kids. Two trends I’ve noticed as a result: a stronger emphasis on melodies, and way more repeat listens.

I love being able to share the music I love with my kids, and I know that the kids are most likely to latch onto songs with great melodies and catchy hooks. So over the past few years we’ve fallen in love with She & Him, Fleet Foxes, The Avett Brothers and The Welcome Wagon, while I’ve fallen deeper in love with old favorites like Sufjan Stevens, Wilco and The Decemberists. While I still love to listen to the more abrasive sounds of mewithoutYou, The Mars Volta or new discovery Buke and Gass, I find myself favoring the music the whole family loves.

“Again?”

The other trend I’ve noticed is repeat listens to songs. I’m an album guy at heart. I love listening to songs in the context of their albums, and will very rarely listen to a song more than once consecutively. However, my children love to listen to songs over and over. They love establishing familiarity, memorizing the lyrics, etc. So my playcounts for songs like She & Him’s “I Was Made for You,” and The Avett Brothers’ “Kick Drum Heart” are astronomical. From the backseat, they clamor, “Again? Again?”

What I’m getting at is that my media community has shifted. Once, I watched movies and listened to music primarily with my “bros,” who I impressed with my encyclopedic music knowledge, and stretched with the newest, edgiest jams I could discover. In fatherhood, I’ve discovered the futility of the vicious cycle of the cool pursuit, and learned to simply enjoy what is good. I continue to stretch myself and be stretched by the great artists out there, but I’m far less concerned with impressing people by being the first responder. Besides, my kids are already impressed that I can floss my teeth, drive a car, and burp on command.

And let’s play that song again. If it’s truly good, it’ll only get better.